Love Lessons offer practical tools for immediate application - and lasting results. Like when you don't know what to say or fear what you might say will trigger anger; when you feel sad in the relationship and you don't know why; or when you said something you regret and you can't take it back - there'll be a Love Lesson for that.
Love Lessons are designed to be short, easy to access, and to the point.
Love Lessons will also offer you inspirational support for those trying times in relationship when you're just not sure what's next. Knowing when to begin, when to wait, when to stay, and when to go can be difficult. There'll be Love Lessons for those times too.
And there'll also be Love Lessons that focus on your relationship with yourself. Showing love, acceptance, and kindness towards yourself is where successful relationship begins.
Lessons are available through online classes and live workshops, coming soon.
Here's an excerpt from I Love You Today Because: The 7 Keys to Epic Romance by Douglas Reichwein which includes an example of a Love Lesson:
I’ve written this book in the unusual format of essay, poetry and image because when speaking of “the affairs of the heart” it is not enough to throw words at the head. We have to speak to the heart. When we are speaking of how we feel we have to go to the place where we feel.
When reading each little I Love You Today poem, I am sharing with you how I feel but I am also asking you how you feel. How do you feel? How do you feel about yourself, your body, your partner? So often these feelings are not the same as what we think about these issues. Our head tells us one thing, our heart and gut tell us another. The latest neurological research shows that every one of our thoughts are recorded with an associated emotion attached and those attachments are stored in different parts of the body, in heart and gut neural-plexus distinct from the head. Being able to access that emotional information regularly is important for a healthy happy life. But doing it well is a learned skill.
When you interact with your partner you are in a constant dance of how you feel and how you think. People typically are wired more in one way than in the other. Either their emotions rule or their thinking rules. However our lives work best when the two are present together—when they are in balance to each other. Balancing emotions and thinking is a technique that can be learned. We call it Soul and Skill.
We store our emotional thought information and our intellectual thought information in different ways, kind of like two different software programs. Often these two programs are not connected well and communication between them is blocked. When we relate to our partner, our inability to access the information stored in the other program, to integrate this information and then express it, interferes with our success and happiness in our relationship. Connecting and balancing your emotions and thinking, having both Soul and Skill, will make your life happier. When you are happier you are more successful in all other areas of your life.
Not everyone is ready for Epic Romance. Maybe you are in your teens. You have a great boyfriend or girlfriend. But you are young and know it’s not time to settle down yet. Or you are in your twenties and really focused on your career, so you prefer casual dating. No matter what your stage of life, it’s never too early to learn and be conversant with your inner emotional landscape.
The beginning of any great relationship is your relationship with yourself. One way to start is with a three-part daily practice that takes a minimum of five minutes and up to no more than twenty minutes. Part one is to ask yourself the question, “How do I feel?” Whatever it is, make a note, write it down. Maybe you’re having several different feelings at the same time. Write them all down. Feeling thoughts are usually the hidden part. Because our feelings live in a different “program” than our daily operational program, you need to take a few moments out to access the feeling program. Then, you ask the second question “What do I think about that?” This is the judgement part of the thought. Write that part down too. Then part three you read over your feeling, then read your thinking, and then compare the two.
An example might be: You are in your quiet space and what comes up is something from three months ago. Your sister left for college and you had a fight the day she left and you are sad about that. You can be brief “Sister gone, I feel sad.” Then you write down your thought. It might be any number of things but for our example your thought might be “I still think she was wrong.” Here are our two discoveries; sister gone I feel sad and she was wrong. The first thing to realize is these are two separate things, two separate thoughts. It is very important to understand they are separate but connected.
Next you ask “Is it true?” Now that they are separate you can ask yourself, “Which part is true?” You ask, “Are they both true, neither, one or the other?” Your answer might be “Yes I am sad but no maybe she wasn’t wrong, maybe I was.” When the two were stuck together the false assessment that she was wrong was being masked by the true feeling that you were sad. Sometimes it is the other way around. Only you can know your true answer. Perhaps on separating feeling from thought you discovered that indeed she was wrong but you weren’t sad. You were mad! Because you love your little sister you have made a habit of giving her a pass since day one when she misbehaves. But what was appropriate when relating to a small child is not now that she is older. But instead of being direct with her you have made a habit of covering your anger with sadness instead. This is a false feeling of sadness, meaning you love your sister and you do miss her, but that was masking what you were really mad about. A very real injustice, but the overlaying sadness was blocking you from identifying and addressing the injustice. So the two programs sat there in you going round and round, the thinking program and the feeling program at odds with each other. Going round and round, not going anywhere but making you uncomfortable.
Every experience, whether real or virtual, is recorded in our being as a thinking thought and a feeling thought. To process the incoming experiences and catalogue them effectively we need to be aware that the thinking thought and the feeling thought are, two separate but connected experiences. Doing the How do I feel?- How do I think? exercise will start to inform you about your inner landscape. It will help you to process and catalogue the information you find there.
My wish for you is that you attain your heart’s desire, that your relationships feed and nurture you. If you would like to improve your relationships you can because Soul and Skill can be learned. If you are in search of Epic Romance I can say with surety, with work and persistence, it can be found. I know because I have.